Today I´d like to talk about the famous impostor syndrome (thanks Carlota for bringing up this topic the other day).
I´m going to guess you already know what it is, and you´ve probably experienced it yourself: it´s the perception that, deep down, we don´t deserve to be where we are (workwise, for example), because we don´t consider ourselves as competent as other people see us, and we´re afraid of someone realizing one day that we´re "pretending" and setting out to "unmask" us.
I admit I´ve felt it many times in the past, and I´m still feeling it quite frequently nowadays, but it doesn´t stress me out that much any more, thanks to a few things I´ve learned in the last five or six years. Let me share them here in case you find them helpful:
- Impostor syndrome does exist; it´s a real feeling, we´re not making it up. But perhaps we´re taking it a bit too far by calling it a syndrome; the word "syndrome" conveys the idea that it´s a serious illness or disorder, when in reality it´s nothing more than a natural mechanism of our mind when faced with certain situations.
- Some say it predominantly affects women, but I´m not so sure; I believe it´s a lot more universal than we think (though maybe the lack of confidence is a bit more noticeable in women).
- A contributing factor to this feeling of being an impostor is our tendency to not see clearly or even acknowledge our own merits, and attribute our success to luck or coincidence to a certain extent (while paradoxically still attributing failures to our own mistakes, and beating ourselves up for it). It´s as if we felt that "we haven´t earned" the right to be where we are.
- And the feeling intensifies when we face the challenge of making progress: for example, a task or a position that requires extra effort (essentially a "stretch goal"), pushing us even further from our comfort zone. That´s when self-doubt comes back stronger than ever: How am I going to be able to do this, if I don´t even deserve to be here?
- The good news is that those doubts and that feeling of not making the cut are giving you really valuable information: they´re showing that what you´re doing really matters to you; they´re reminding you that you have high quality standards, and that meeting those standards is really important to you.
What do you think about this last point? Does it help you to see things a bit differently? I find the reframing extremely helpful, on the one hand, because it gives a positive intention to that uncomfortable or unpleasant feeling we´re experiencing, and on the other hand it allows us to take action instead of getting stuck in an overthinking loop.
We can, for example, write down the objective reasons why we´re the right person for that task or position (and if needed, we can even ask whoever chose us for the role). We can identify our strengths and talents, and also potential growth areas or specific gaps, so that we can work on them (a SWOT analysis matrix is a helpful tool for this scenario; I´ll leave a note to myself for a future blog article).
So, what do you think? In what area of your life or work do you feel a little like an impostor right now? How is it affecting you? And what can you do to manage it better?