{"id":4281,"date":"2024-08-11T12:44:52","date_gmt":"2024-08-11T11:44:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/binarywords.com\/?p=4281"},"modified":"2025-09-07T23:20:01","modified_gmt":"2025-09-07T22:20:01","slug":"portate-bien","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/binarywords.com\/en\/2024\/08\/11\/portate-bien\/","title":{"rendered":"Behave yourself!"},"content":{"rendered":"

This weekend I\u00b4m in Le\u00f3n, a city I\u00b4m very fond of. This morning, passing by the cathedral, I found myself looking at this statue again, I find it so interesting:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Statue<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u00b4s a father admiring the cathedral (which, in fairness, is a beautiful, impressive building) and trying to get his son to admire it as well, and the son (maybe around seven or eight years of age?) is looking away, completely uninterested. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Does this ring a bell? How often do we get frustrated because our children (or other people) don\u00b4t do what we want them to do or don\u00b4t like the same things we like? Luckily, this dad doesn\u00b4t seem very upset; maybe he understands that, depending on our age and the stage we are in life, our priorities differ, and \"visiting stones\" (especially with your parents) is not very cool when you\u00b4re a child or a teenager.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I admit that I have loads of expectations for my daughters. Over the years, I\u00b4ve realised two things: one, that some of those expectations are reasonable and some are not, and two, that if I don\u00b4t communicate them clearly, I can\u00b4t expect my daughters to read my mind and just know... Even for things that I may consider obvious, because what\u00b4s important to me is not necessarily important for others, and that includes my daughters. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Generally, we parents all want our children to \"behave themselves\", but what does that mean exactly? How do we translate that into specific behaviours? \"Behave yourself\" is such a generic and vague expression that children don\u00b4t know what to make of it; it\u00b4s much better if we give clear instructions so they know what\u00b4s expected of them at each given moment. Then, as they grow up, our strategy as parents also needs to evolve: less instructions and more dialogue and negotiation. Some things will be negotiable, some will not; let\u00b4s be flexible in what we can, and they will be thankful for it, and then they\u00b4ll be more likely to listen to us when it comes to the important things, especially if they understand the why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All this reminded me of a Mafalda comic strip that I always liked. The great Quino and his wisdom, as always:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Black<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u00b4s the translation: Miguelito is saying this monologue, supposedly talking to his parents:<\/p>\n\n\n\n