Exactly nineteen years and two days ago, I arrived in Ireland with the intention to stay. I had visited Dublin a few months before, but this time I was relocating indefinitely; I didn´t have a return ticket to Spain.

Back then, I was recently married and had been working in IT for just three years; we could say I had my whole life ahead of me. Up to then, my life had been quite predictable, but it was time to start a new adventure... Or rather, a lot of new adventures, one after the other. Adventures of many different kinds; some more predictable than others, some more challenging than others, and all of them profoundly enriching.

I´ve called them adventures, but maybe there´s a better word to define them: transitions.

(I took this photo while spending a lovely evening with my cousins at a beach in county Galway, I can´t remember the name of the beach, sorry)

The Oxford Dictionary defines transition as "The process of changing from one state to another", and some of its synonyms can be change, movement, transformation and metamorphosis.

Interestingly, a few days ago at work (thanks Naval!) information was shared about the importance of transitions in a person´s life. These are some conclusions by Bruce Feiler, author of the book Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age:

• We are likely to experience a new transition every 12-18 months.
• Most transitions take at least three to five years to complete.
• One out of every ten of them becomes a "lifequake" – a kind of earthquake that shakes up our whole life.
• In the course of our lives we go through three to five of those "lifequakes".
• 53% are involuntary, which includes events like having a spouse cheat on you, losing your job or getting a medical diagnosis.
• 47% are voluntary, which includes you cheating on your spouse, you leaving your job to start a business or you choosing to move to a new country.

Interesting, isn´t it? Now looking back, I can identify a few of those "lifequakes" in my life, and it is true that you feel like your world is crumbling down, or at least, that everything is being shaken within you and around you. It makes you a bit dizzy.

Then little by little, as time goes by, everything starts to fall into place again; you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and end up coming out the other side feeling a bit stronger and also a bit wiser. That´s until next time of course, whether you like it or not, because transitions are an inevitable part of life.

So, what are the things that can help us to endure transitions better, especially the most radical ones? All the available tools and resources around personal development can be really helpful, and if you´ve been reading this blog for a while, hopefully you´ll have already identified a few of them (self-discovery and emotional intelligence are always an excellent starting point, as well as the stoic philosophy, and of course, coaching).

But on top of all those resources, there´s another factor that´s extremely important according to the experts (thanks Luis for this information). As explained by Robert Waldinger in his TED talk, a Harvard study that´s been observing individuals throughout their life (and measuring their happiness levels) for 75 years has resulted in the conclusion that, regardless of socioeconomic level and many other factors, the happiest individuals are, without a doubt, the ones that keep good relationships with other people.

In other words: the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life. That´s it. As simple as that.

And I´m not just referring to your spouse/partner (on whom, by the way, we put too many expectations nowadays), but also your friends, your family... In summary, having a support network of loved ones with whom you can share your news, both happy and sad. It´s proven that it improves your mental, emotional and even physical health.

Looking back again, I realize that for each and every one of my "lifequakes", I´ve been lucky enough to count on lots of love and support from my family and friends, my loved ones. They felt my sorrows and also my joy; they listened to me and offered to help, and they trusted me even when they didn´t share my opinions or understand my decisions. All of that was incredibly helpful for me, it allowed me to continue along my path with relatively firm steps. And to be honest, I don´t know if I ever thanked them... A MILLION THANKS to all of you, from the bottom of my heart.

What about you? What "lifequakes" are you facing now, or have you faced recently? And who are you counting on to accompany you along the path, so that the trip gets a little easier?