How good are you at taking the initiative, especially regarding big life decisions? Are you one of those who "make things happen", or do you tend to let things happen to you?

I´m bringing this up because I´ve had a few conversations about big life decisions in the last few weeks, specifically around moving to another country. On the one hand, two good friends I met shortly after moving to Ireland are now getting ready to move back to Spain, and talking to them made me think about my own future, and consider where I´d like to live in the short, medium and long term. And on the other hand, this week I welcomed a family friend who just made the opposite move, from Spain to Ireland. His excitement and openness to living new experiences made me remember my first few years here, the tremendous impact moving had on me, and how I got to progressively forge a new life as years went by.

To answer my own question: I always considered myself a person with little initiative, relatively speaking: many of my big life changes have been either a shared decision with a little push from other people (like coming to live and work in Ireland) or decisions made by others (like my separation and divorce). But now, looking back, I realize that I´ve also made big decisions by myself. The determination to carry on with my life in Ireland when my world came crashing down around me was probably my first big decision on my own, the first time I truly took the initiative.

The first of many.

Sometimes, life gives us a little push so that we know it´s time to take ownership. The trick is to stay alert, learn to welcome what life brings to us, and trust that that´s what we need to continue to grow.

So, in line with that idea, here are a couple of quotes plus an extra bonus quote. The first one comes to us from the wisdom of stoicism:

The willing, Destiny guides them. The unwilling, Destiny drags them.

Seneca

This phrase was explained to me at the time using the metaphor of a dog tied to a moving cart. The dog has two options: he can keep up with the pace, trotting happily along with the cart, or struggle to resist, trying to slow down or change direction, and ultimately getting hurt, as he gets dragged by the cart anyway.

The second one is a beautiful wordplay:

There is a time to let things happen, and a time to make things happen.

Hugh Prather

As I read this, what comes to my mind is: how can I know when it´s time for one thing or the other? I would say it´s a question of figuring out our usual strategy, and whether it works for us in certain specific situations. What do we find most difficult, the doing or the not doing? Would it make sense to adjust?

And the third one, from the same author, closes the cycle:

Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes.

Hugh Prather