Groundhog day... Or anything but

Today is February 2nd, and this time I did remember it´s Groundhog Day.

The other day, I was talking to my work colleagues oabout the plot of this movie, Groundhog Day, whose title was translated into Spanish "Atrapado en el tiempo", that is, "trapped in time", because that´s precisely what it is about: the protagonist gets stuck on February 2nd, reliving the same day (Groundhog Day) again and again, not knowing how to get out of there.

(Photo of an ordinary bench in an ordinary park.)

And after that conversation, I kept thinking... It´s been a long time since I last heard someone say they feel like they´re living in Groundhog Day, in the sense of being stuck in a rut and wanting to get out of that monotony. Perhaps because life hasn´t felt particularly routine-like in the last while, and not necessarily for reasons we could identify as "good".

Instead, it feels like (or maybe it´s just me who´s feeling it) that everything is a bit out of control, be it because of inclement weather in the last few weeks, or because of the ever-increasing speed of progress of technology (e. g. AI), or because of so many other events happening in certain parts of the world, with situations reaching the point of becoming surreal.

Maybe we´re at a point where we would prefer our world to be a bit more stable and predictable.

But for the moment, we have what we have.

So, what can we do?

I can´t help but remember the beginning of the pandemic, back in March 2020 (almost six years ago!). At that time, everything was uncertain; we were also in a surreal situation, with no precedents, and we had no idea what the future would bring. But we had to keep going, and that´s what we did: we kept going, we muddled through, and step by step, with higher or lower degrees of suffering, we managed to walk that path and arrive at a new normality.

Maybe that´s what we need to do now as well, because it´s what human beings have had to do since the beginning of time: adapt to new situations, solve new problems.

They say that, in this life, the only constant is change, and we know that that´s true: people change over time, and also our environment and circumstances change. But the thing is, sometimes that change is softer and more gradual, and sometimes it´s a lot stronger and faster, so much so that it can overwhelm us. And that´s when the feeling (or rather, the illusion) of having everything under control crumbles down, only to be replaced by stress and uncertainty.

Our brain does not like uncertainty. It finds it really uncomfortable because it doesn´t know what to do with it, and since it can't solve it using its habitual autopilot, instead, it wastes tons of energy worrying and trying to predict the future. That´s the reason why we often prefer to revert to "the devil we know", to the rut and the monotony, rather than venturing towards what´s yet to be discovered, even though it could turn out better than what we have right now.

So, if you´re currently experiencing uncertainty of any kind, please know that you´re not alone; on the contrary. And even though there are external factors that we clearly can´t control, the good news is that we can use tools and strategies to help us feel better, and recover a certain sense of order and control. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Establishing "good" routines, which add stability, structure and predictability to our days, but keeping certain flexibility as well, so that we can adapt as things change around us.
  • Intentionally dedicating time to taking care of ourselves, physically, mentally and emotionally, including time on our calendars for leisure, rest, and connection (which, I´ve been reminded recently, are not luxuries, but actual needs). We can tackle anything better when our batteries are fully charged, and everything becomes a struggle when we´re feeling tired or in low spirits.
  • Keeping a diary (a physical one) to write (by hand) our thoughts and worries. The mere act of writing helps to bring out whatever we´re holding inside, become aware of it and process it better. Plus, our minds can now rest better, knowing it´s all written down.

What do you think about these three strategies? Which ones do you use when life moves at a faster pace than you would like?

Getting to know the elephant

The other day, my work colleagues and I went out for lunch; we went to a really cool pub near the office (An Poitin Stil, in case you´re curious), and I saw this elephant at the entrance:

(Photo of the statue of a grey elephant, at the entrance of a pub in Rathcoole, Ireland.)

I immediately remembered a metaphor I´m very fond of, one that I´m starting to use quite often when speaking about coaching and personal/professional growth (together with the one about the iceberg, which is still my favourite).

It´s the elephant and rider theory, formulated by psychologist Jonathan Haidt. He puts forward the idea that our conscious mind, that is, our logical and rational side, is like a rider on top of an elephant, and that elephant is our non-consscious mind, that is, our intuitive and emotional side.

The rider believes he´s the one in charge, the one holding the reins, but at the end of the day, the elephant is much stronger and ultimately wins every time. All of this without us even noticing... The thing is, the vast majority of our decisions are not as logical and rational as we would like to believe: in reality, we decide based on emotions, and then we justify those decisions rationally after the fact.

A bit scary, isn´t it? Hard to admit. And we thought we were so clever...

But there´s also a very positive side to this metaphor, and it´s the fact that it explains very well why we find it so hard to make changes and acquire new habits: even if the rider knows for sure where they want to go, if they´re not able to convince and motivate the elephant, they´re not going to be able to move in that direction.

In other words: as long as our goals are not in alignment with our deepest motivations (beliefs, values, identity, etc.), we´re not going to be able to make lasting changes; we´re going to be constantly sabotaging ourselves.

The solution? Befriending the elephant 🙂 Getting to know him as well as possible, learning to understand him and finding ways to collaborate, so that you can join forces and make progress in a way that satisfies your needs as well as theirs.

What about you? How well do you know your elephant? And how well do you get along with him?

Career paths (III)

This weekend at home, we´ve been talking about university courses. Irene, my eldest daughter, is finishing secondary school this year, so it´s time for her to choose what she wants to study, and her sister Alicia will be in the same situation in just two years.

(This photo is from Maynooth University, which is close to our house. It´s a modern university, though it also has some older buildings. I walked around the area a few days ago, and I really liked the atmosphere.)

In fairness, choosing a college course is a turning point in a teenager´s life; it may even be the first big decision many of them face. And it can be quite an overwhelming process, filled with doubt and uncertainty. Those with a clear first option will feel pressured to get the necessary marks, and they may obsess over whether they will get in or not. But what about those who don´t even know which way to go? Even more doubts, pressure and stress, trying to sort out their thoughts and choose wisely.

Because, the thing is, whatever you study in college will determine your professional life once you´re done...

All of this reminds me of the presentation I gave last year on career paths (you can read the articles here and here), where I tried to calm down the kids to an extent in that regard. When it comes to important decisions like this one, it´s natural to feel the need to get it right and find the perfect solution, in this case, choosing the ideal career path... But the reality is that we don´t have all the information, plus things don´t depend solely on us, plus the perfect solution as such doesn´t exist; what does exist are different options that will give us different results and learnings..

Luckily, nowadays, choosing a particular career or profession doesn´t necessarily mean getting stuck there for life: reinvention is very common, due to people´s own will as well as the evolution of job markets. So, in. my opinion, the most important thing is to get started somewhere (if possible, doing something you like and/or you´re good at), do your best, learn a lot, gain experience, and then, if needed, start making adjustments as you make progress.

Just to be clear, I´m not saying you should reinvent yourself and change your career path every ten minutes, OK? You will need a bit of patience and perseverance to be able to learn everything that each phase has to teach you.

And the good thing is that all the knowledge, experience and skills that we acquire in each phase we integrate without noticing, and that makes us better professionals, even if, at first sight, it may seem like some items are not relevant or not applicable to the new position or situation..

Let me give you a couple of examples from my own career path, to see if they help to make it clear:

  • In college, I studied Computer Engineering; thanks to that, I learned programming, and even though programming was not my favourite activity in life (it wasn´t my hobby the same way it was for some of my friends), I was relatively good at it. My first few jobs once I finished college were as a software programmer.
  • When I moved to Ireland, I also started working as a programmer, but as time went by, a few junior engineers joined my team. Over time, I started programming less and less and doing more and more analysis tasks (that is, understanding how the system works and what updates are required to do whatever is needed for each project).
  • The following company that hired me (the one I´m still working for) hired me directly as a Systems Analyst.
  • Typically, Systems Analyst tasks include:
    • Gathering all the user or client requirements to add functionality to a system
    • Documenting the system´s current state (as-is)
    • Defining the future state, once the new functionality is added (to-be)
    • Specify the required changes to move from current state to future state, and
    • Work with the development team to implement said changes.
  • Years later, I discovered coaching, a discipline that doesn´t seem to have anything to do with systems analysis... Until we start looking at the steps of the GROW model (the most widespread model in coaching) in detail:
    • Goal – Define the goal: what do you want to achieve?
    • Reality – Explore reality, how are things right now, in relation to the goal?
    • Options – List your options: what could you do to make progress towards your goal?
    • Will or Way forward – Action plan: what are you going to do, where are you going to start?

Well, it turns out that (in general terms, and being mindful of the differences) the structure of a coaching session is not that different from the steps you follow before modifying a webpage, for example. And the structured and analytical mind I got from all these years of working as a Systems Analyst gave me a great foundation to manage my coaching sessions skillfully.

And I´ve noticed another parallel:

  • Beyond individual sessions, let´s remember that coaching is, first of all, a process:
    • At the very beginning, an overall goal (the process goal) is established, and it is defined as precisely as possible.
    • Then, in each session, we identify a specific topic to work on (the session goal) related to the overall goal, and a new action plan is defined.
    • This way, each session involves taking another step towards the overall goal, evaluating the results from the previous step and course-correcting as often as needed.
  • This could be compared to the way we work in Technology with Agile methodologies, for example, Scrum:
    • Each project or initiative represents a goal: implementing certain functionality in the system.
    • The team defines, for each work cycle (in Scrum this is called sprint, a set time period, for example, two weeks), a partial goal in relation to the whole effort, based on the number of tasks they estimate they can finish in the allocated time.
    • At the end of each sprint there´s a follow up on the work, the team reflects on what worked well and what didn´t, what they were able to finish and what they weren´t, the necessary adjustments are made, and the next sprint is planned.

I hope these examples illustrate a bit of what I want to convey with this post: that many of the things we learn in certain contexts can be really useful resources in other contexts, and that even if we don´t "get it right" the first time with our career path, we´ll be learning and evolving regardless, so we won´t be wasting time at all, on the contrary.

What´s your opinion on this? What skills do you have now, thanks to previous jobs or projects?

Mixed bag of emotions

Yesterday, the girls and I went to the cinema to watch Inside Out 2, which in Spain is translated as Del Revés 2. Being such a massive fan of the first movie, I was sure I was going to like the second one as well 🙂

(If you want to know more about the first movie and the emotions featured in it, you can read here and here).

This is a photo of a little canvas bag I found in a shop a few years ago that I thought was very funny: it's literally "a mixed bag of emotions" (the wordplay doesn't translate as well into Spanish). The "mixed bag" expression conveys a combination of good and bad things; to me, it's a reminder that we all go through moments where there's a mix of emotions inside of us, some of which are more pleasant to us than others.

OK, back to the new movie. I don´t want to give you too many spoilers, though if you´ve seen the trailers, you probably have a pretty good idea of what it is about: our friend Riley has just turned thirteen, and as she becomes a teenager, everything gets more complicated, with new and unpredictable emotions...

Once again, I believe the artists from Pixar have masterfully represented through symbols what happens inside the human mind, explaining the workings of that mental and emotional rollercoaster that gets us inevitably carried away sometimes, especially during our teenage years. Then the story takes it a step further, entering the realm of beliefs and how they get formed and established as we grow up.

I´m going to take a risk here and tell you the message I took away from this movie; I´m not sure whether it´s the one intended by the screenwriters: after the first part put a lot of emphasis on the idea that all emotions are necessary and must be given their space, the second part tells us about the importance of accepting both what we like and what we don´t like about ourselves and about what happens to us.

Acknowledging the parts we consider positive and the ones we perceive as negative; the light and the shadow. Because we are all full of contradictions, and much like we have strengths, we also have weaknesses, not because there´s anything wrong with us that needs to be hidden or fixed, but because that´s how human beings work. We each have our own burden, and accepting and integrating whatever we find along the way is the key to being able to grow, mature and evolve as a person.

What about you? Have you watched the movie already? If so, what did you get out of it? And if not, what are you waiting for?

An emotional little trick

One of the things I love about my job is that I occasionally get to deliver a talk or workshop about a professional development topic, which also ends up being a personal development topic, as both go inevitably hand in hand.

This week, for the second year in a row, I got the chance to contribute to my company´s internship program (an intern role would be similar to a “becario” in Spain) with an interactive session on one of my favourite topics: emotional intelligence.

Summarising very briefly, emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to:

  • Recognise, understand and manage our own emotions, and
  • Recognise, understand and influence the emotions of others.

It may sound a bit odd to you, us talking about emotions in a professional setting… Well, as it turns out, your “emotional quotient” (or EQ) often matters more than your intelligence quotient, especially at work.

Why? Because at the end of the day, above all else, we are human beings, we are people. And even though we get the impression that work is about tasks, processes, systems, programs and the like (or whatever is relevant depending on your job), deep down, it’s always about people, directly or indirectly - colleagues, bosses, clients, suppliers, users, patients or whatever they may be. We are always dealing with people, starting with ourselves.

The good news is that emotional intelligence can be trained, and it produces double benefits, personally and professionally. In either domain, the more you get to understand yourself and those around you better, the more you’ll be able to progress in life. It’s that simple.

In the 7th episode of Reprogram your life we looked at how emotions generally work, what the main emotions are (the so-called universal emotions), and the specific message that each of them conveys. Today I´d like to share with you a very useful technique to manage those moments when the emotion shows up: the acronym is STOP.

STOP traffic sign against a blurred countryside background

  • S for Stop – Literally! Stop what you’re doing for a second.
  • T for Take a breath (or take a step back) - Take a moment to breathe consciously. In and out.
  • O for Observe – What are you feeling right here and now? What’s that emotion (name it), and what is it telling you? What’s the message?
  • P for Proceed – Once you’ve received the message, what do you want to do with it? How do you want to respond to this situation?

This technique helps us to create a bit of space between the emotion, which is spontaneous and we can´t control, and the actions that follow the emotion, which we do have the ability to control, but only if we snap out of auto-pilot in order to choose more consciously. Managing our emotions appropriately will allow us to respond to situations instead of reacting to them, and consequently get better results, both for us and for those around us.

This quote from Viktor Frankl explains it beautifully:

Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Viktor Frankl

Career paths (II)

As I was telling you in my previous post, last week I had the opportunity to deliver a talk about my professional career to a class of secondary school kids.

I had a hard time preparing the presentation, partly because I generally find it difficult to talk about myself (and I don't like pointing at myself as an example of anything), and partly because I didn't have a clear idea of how to express what I wanted to convey. At this stage, I know for a fact that storytelling is not my thing, so I had to find another way.

Luckily, a couple of days before the talk I had a chat with a friend (thanks Quique!) who really helped me to put myself in those teenagers' shoes; we spoke about how at that age, typically only a few teens have a good idea of what they would like to study in college, or what they'd like to do for a living; most often, they don't have a clue. If on top of that we add the ever-growing amount of available options, and the rate at which the workplace landscape keeps changing, we end up with a level of uncertainty that's a lot higher than for previous generations. And that's overwhelming.

All this gave me an idea, a metaphor I could use to explain what I wanted to convey to them...

I remembered Dora the Explorer.

Dora the Explorer cartoon character, standing with her arms crossed and smiling

If you've ever watched an episode of Dora, you'll remember that she always has a mission to accomplish, a goal to achieve, and that she keeps finding challenges and difficulties along the way, but in the end she always gets to achieve the goal (and to celebrate!)

So, what does Dora have (apart from her friend Boots) that helps her to overcome those challenges and difficulties?

First of all, a map.

Map used to show Dora the way at the beginning of every episode, almost always with three places she had to get through before arriving at her destination:

But the thing is, Dora's map was always right, it knew exactly what she would find along the path... Obviously, in real life we know that "the map" (that is, our plan) is just for orientation purposes, and, following the reasoning from last week's post, something like this is most likely to happen:

So, you know, as I see it, it's great to have a map, a plan, especially at the beginning. It can help us, it can point us in the right direction, but it's not going to solve all our problems, so if we don't have a plan, it's not the end of the world either, the way will reveal itself in due course.

First message: it's OK if you don't have a plan, it's going to change anyway.

But then, what can we do to prepare?

This is where we get to the second object Dora always carried with her, which to me is a lot more important and a lot more interesting than the map. Do you remember what it was?

A backpack.

A backpack full of all kinds of tools. And every time a challenge appeared, Dora opened her backpack and took out the perfect tool for the occasion, the one that would allow her to solve the problem.

Cartoon - Backpack and Map from Dora the Explorer

Second message: we may not know the exact path we will need to walk, but in the meantime we can get our backpacks ready, filling them with tools that will be useful for work an well as for our personal life and relationships.

Those "tools" can be:

  • Natural talents and abilities that we already have, and that we can continue to work on and improve.
  • Things we learn in a formal environment (primary and secondary school, college, workplace, etc.), and I'm not referring only to what's in the books (though that's important as well), but also many other skills we learn while we go through these experiences.
  • Things we learn in less formal environments, and that we seek for ourselves: extra curricular activities, interests, hobbies...

In summary: everything we learn in the different environments we interact with gets incorporated into our backpack. And out of all those tools, the most useful ones are the ones called "transferrable skills", because they can be applied to any professional or personal environment. Here are a few examples of the most typical ones:

  • Communication and presentation skills
  • Organizational skills
  • Quality focus and attention to detail
  • Adaptability to change
  • Collaboration and teamwork

And my favourite, the best one in my opinion, because to helps to develop all the others: self-awareness and self-management.

What are your thoughts on this backpack idea? What tools do you have in yours? And which ones would you like to acquire?

Career paths (I)

One of the many things I love about the company I work for is the bunch of volunteering opportunities available to us. For a few years now I've been collaborating with Junior Achievement, an international institution who establishes links between students in primary and post-primary education and professionals from the corporate world.

The idea is for us volunteers to visit primary and secondary schools and deliver training sessions and other events to the kids, not only to bring them new knowledge (though that's part of it, especially in areas like economics, business, science, technology, engineering and maths), but mainly to be a role model for them; that way, they can see that staying in the education system pays off, as it gives them more chances to find a good job.

In previous years, I've done training sessions on science, technology and the like, but my task for this week was something very different: delivering a talk about my professional career to a secondary school class, in order to inspire them at this crucial moment when they're starting to decide what to do with their life.

My professional career.

Twenty years, more or less, since I started to work.

To be honest, at the beginning I didn't have a clear idea of what I could say that they would find inspiring, or at least somewhat helpful... How could I become a useful example for them? What did I learn in all these years that's worth telling? What would have helped me to hear when I was their age? I slowly started to dig deeper and deeper, and a common thread started emerging; an idea, a message that I would also like to share with you.

Diagram displaying a straight arrow from "start" to "end" with the label "How life is supposed to go", followed by another arrow full of twists, turns and loops between "start" and "end", and the label "How life actually goes"

This diagram is a great illustration of "how life is supposed to go" (a perfect straight line from the starting point to the end) versus "how life actually goes" (an extremely whacky and bendy line, full of twists, turns and even loops, from the starting point to the end).

This is as true for professional careers as it is for anything else in life: I realized this first hand as I was preparing my presentation, and I noticed I had drawn my trajectory as a perfect arrow from left to right, with significant milestones at regular intervals, when in reality there were a good few twists and turns, many of them unexpected, coming from outside, but also a few that I decided to initiate myself, from the inside.

Luckily, my presentation also had to include a section on "successes and failures", so that's where I took the opportunity to explain a few of those twists and turns along the years, which, depending on how you look at them, can be considered failures, in the sense that things didn't turn out how I expected them to.

And I said "depending on how you look at them" because this black and white thinking that states that things are either a success or a failure doesn't seem accurate to me; I prefer looking at it this way:

Two drawings: on the left hand side, over the label "What people think", a road forks into "Success" as the wide shiny road straight ahead and "Failure" as a narrow winding road to the side, blocked by an orange cone and a FAIL sign. On the right hand side, the "road to success" combines a few different road branches that twist, loop and end in FAIL with one that continues ahead, with another couple of FAILs along the way, and the shiny success at the end

This other diagram shows us "what most people think", which is that success and failure are mutually exclusive, and that failure derails you from the path of success, versus "what successful people know", which is that what we call failure is nothing more than feedback indicating which way not to go, so that we can try different routes and end up finding the right way, the way of success.

And this is something I would have greatly benefited from if I had heard it twenty years ago: that it's OK to make mistakes (at work and in life), that getting it wrong every now and then is completely normal, and it's even necessary, because it allows us to learn and make progress in life, figuring out our own path.

How about you? What do you think about these two diagrams?

  • If you've been in the workforce for a few years already, are these hypotheses true in your case as well? What would be the shape of your professional career, if you were to draw it? What twists, turns or blockers have you found along the way?
  • And if you've only recently joined the workforce, or haven't joined yet, how does it feel when you hear your professional career will probably be this chaotic? What do you think could help you to prepare a little better?

Next week I'll tell you something else that came to my mind when preparing for the talk: a way to think about your professional career that I hope will provide you with some fresh ideas and practical tools.

Giving up guilt

Today, Facebook reminded me of a post I wrote exactly thirteen years ago, quoting a phrase that really resonated with me back then:

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

Bill Watterson

Does this feeling ring a bell? The feeling of not doing everything you should be doing, of not accomplishing everything you should be accomplishing, of moving too slowly and not being able to catch up...

I can think of a number of things I could say on this topic (and I probably will say them, in future articles), but for the moment, and taking into account the time of the year, today I´m going to focus on what I discovered to be the consequence (or maybe the cause?) of me feeling this way:

Guilt.

I felt guilty about everything.

Hiciera lo que hiciera, me sentía culpable por no hacerlo lo suficientemente bien, o por ser poco productiva y malgastar mi tiempo. Si estaba trabajando, me sentía mal por pasar poco tiempo con mis hijas; si estaba jugando con mis hijas, me sentía mal por no estar haciendo algo «más útil», como limpiar o cocinar… Y así, la lista seguía hasta el infinito, espero que se entienda la idea.

But luckily a few years later, I´m not sure exactly when, at some point something clicked in my head, and I realized that guilt was not delivering any productive outcomes for me, in fact it was the opposite. That was when I consciously decided to stop feeding my own guilt.

White page with the words "not guilty" written on it, next to a judge's hammer seen from above

Tanto España como Irlanda son países de tradición muy católica, y el concepto de culpa está muy enraizado en el catolicismo (sospecho que en otras religiones también, en mayor o menor medida, pero el catolicismo es la religión con la que me crié, y la que conozco de primera mano). Ahora estamos a punto de empezar la Cuaresma, y en Irlanda es típico elegir algo a lo que renunciar durante estos cuarenta días; por ejemplo, hay mucha gente que renuncia a los dulces. Supongo que de ahí viene luego la costumbre de atiborrarse de chocolate por Pascua de Resurrección, tendríais que ver el tamaño de los «Easter eggs» 🙂

Recuerdo que al poco de mudarme a Irlanda me sorprendía cuando me preguntaban: «¿y tú a qué vas a renunciar esta Cuaresma?» Como en España eso no es costumbre, no se me ocurría qué contestar… Hasta que un año se me encendió la bombillita y apareció en mi cabeza la respuesta: ¡A la culpa! Renuncio a sentirme culpable inútilmente.

What about you? What have you decided to give up?

Perspective

Has it ever happened to you that, while you were worrying about a problem or a challenge that seemed unsurmountable, suddenly something else happened that completely changed your perspective and made you realize it wasn´t that bad?

Sometimes I remember the beginning of the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, a book of mostly nonsensical humour that I read many years ago (thanks Hernán for lending it to me), and of which I don´t remember much, except for a couple of details I thought were full of genius geeky wisdom🙂

The story begins with the main character arriving one day at his house, only to discover it´s about to be demolished to build a new highway. Apparently, a notice sign had been put up a few weeks before, but he hadn´t seen it, and as you can imagine, he gets very nervous; he starts shouting at the construction workers, trying with all his might to save his house from getting destroyed... But as it turns out, it doesn´t really matter, because then he finds out that the whole planet Earth is about to be destroyed, in order to build a new intergalactic highway (and there was also a warning sign that nobody had read!).

How often do we get obsessed with a specific thing as if our life depended on it, and it doesn´t occur to us to take a step back, change the way we look at it, and that way get to see the big picture?

Close up of a glass ball on a wooden log, showing a rocky landscape that we can also see out of focus in the background

Another good example, this time from real life, was the beginning of the pandemic: many of our worries from before March 2020 suddenly disappeared, as we realized that what was truly important at that time was being healthy and safe, and everything else was an additional luxury.

And I´m not saying that our previous worries were not valid, on the contrary: every single thing that happens to us generates certain thoughts and feelings, sometimes alongside physical symptoms, that we should process; we should pay attention and give them their space, because they´re here to tell us something, to deliver a warning, or maybe a teaching.

What I´m saying is that the importance of things is relative, and when we don´t have something big to worry about... Sometimes our tendency is to worry about something small as if it were big.

Or sometimes we´re so deeply involved in a specific situation that we find it difficult to see it clearly, and as the saying goes, "we can´t see the forest for the trees". That´s when we can benefit most from seeking a different perspective, and a variety of techniques can help us with that, either working individually or with help from a friend, or a professional.

For example, when we´re stuck trying to make a decision for fear of choosing wrong, it may be useful to remind ourselves that in this life, the probabilities of a decision of ours causing irreversible and irreparable damage are very slim. In the majority of cases, regardless of the outcome being "good" or "bad", the consequences are perfectly tolerable, so we can afford to decide, take action, and above all, learn from our results.

By the way, I´m writing "good" or "bad" with quotation marks because as we already know, everything is relative... Except in the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, where they were able to find the ultimate specific answer to the Big Question on Life, the Universe, and Everything 🙂

Do what you can

It´s been a week already in 2023; we are slowly returning to normal life after the winter celebrations... And maybe the excitement we felt a few days ago, at the beginning of the year, is starting to fade away.

All those plans we were so excited about, all those new year's resolutions, may feel a bit uphill to us right now... In fact, in Spain there's a saying, I'm not sure if it exists in other countries: "la cuesta de enero" (January's "hill" - the word "cuesta" refers to both "hill" and something that's difficult, costly). It alludes to the difficulties we face sometimes during this month, often in terms of money (after spending a lot at Christmas), but I would say also emotionally, given that celebration time is now over and we return to the cold and monotonous winter time.

Wooden steps ascending through a rocky field, under a grey cloudy sky

Apparently, January is the month when many people start planning their next holiday, in order to have something to look forward to. Yesterday I happened to walk by a travel agency, and was really surprised by the queue of customers!

What I'm trying to say is that this time of the year may feel a bit hard to us, especially if we have a goal or objective that still seems very far away and we don't feel that we're making enough progress.

I'm the first one currently in that situation: I have a few enhancements and other things planned for BinaryWords, and here I am, watching the days go by much faster than the progress I'm making with the project... In my opinion, as I've pointed out in the past, the key is finding a sustainable pace, which in my case translates to finding the balance between being patient with myself and giving myself a little kick. Resting and looking after my well-being, of course, as well as carving out time to do things I like, but also motivating myself even when I don't feel like it, and assigning reasonable tasks to myself every day or every week; otherwise, it's very easy for me to stay in my comfort zone and not move.

Speaking of, I´m happy to report that I have finally started a mailing list through Mailchimp. You can subscribe here to receive the weekly post in your email inbox, and get updates about new things coming up. If you´re already subscribed you don´t have to do anything, I´ll add you to the new list, and hopefully, you´ll start receiving emails in a slightly nicer format 🙂 And if you see any problems, please let me know so that I can fix them, I´m still learning (and I still need to investigate how to make the emails bilingual without having to write it all twice...)

Anyway, getting back to our topic, I encourage you to have patience with your goals and objectives for this year, especially during this month of January, and also to keep making progress at a pace that allows for your self-care but doesn´t allow you to make excuses 😉

And I´m finishing today with one of my favourite quotes of all times, which you can apply to any situation, including this one:

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

Theodore Roosevelt