Author: binarybea

Power without excuses (and guilt-free)

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Last week, during an Enneagram class, we had a really interesting conversation about the relationship each of us has with the concept of power.

What thoughts cross your mind when you hear the word "power"?

We often associate it with negative ideas, don´t we? Oppression, abusiveness, forcing others to obey... And as a result, we may develop the belief that power is something bad, something we shouldn´t have, or seek. 

But it doesn´t have to be like that. 

The truth is, power is just the capacity to produce a result (thanks Mario for that definition), that is, to move things forward the way we want. 

Thankfully, we all have the power to achieven things in life, even though sometimes we don´t know how to do it, or where to begin. We have the power to change, and by changing ourselves, we change our circumstances and influence our environment.

"Full steam ahead" device seen at an at exhibition steam ship in Belfast, Northern Ireland.

(Artefact seen at the S. S. Nomadic steam ship, next to the Titanic museum in Belfast. It was used to control the amount of power used to make the ship move forward or turn.

Now, this is not something that happens magically or overnight: changing requires work and conscious effort; it requires time, paatience and perseverance. And above all, it requires something that we may find quite difficult: leaving all excuses aside and taking charge of our life, once and for all. 

Today I was reminded of a phrase that says: "what you´re not changing, you´re choosing" (thanks, Orla! According to Google, this quote is by Laurie Buchanan). A bit radical, isn´t it? But very true.

Even more radical is this other idea by Erica Jong, from which I was familiar with the last sentence, but not the whole paragraph:

No one to blame! That was why most people led lives they hated, with people they hated. How wonderful to have someone to blame! How wonderful to live with one's nemesis! You may be miserable, but you feel forever in the right. You may be fragmented, but you feel absolved of all the blame for it. Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.

Oh, how easy it is for us sometimes to blame others, or life, for our circumstances, without acknowledging how we contributed to creating that situation. The good news is that, once we break the habit of blaming others, we also break the habit of feeling at their mercy, and we recover the power over our own lifeeven though it initially feels uncomfortable. This is also a task that requires effort and conscious intention, and more importantly, a lot of self-compassion; for once we realise how we got to the point where we are ,and we stop blaming others for it, what we often do is blame ourselves. And that, instead of helping us, can be paralysing and bring us down even more.

But, as a good friend once said to me (thanks, Hernán): don´t look at it in terms of blame and guilt, but in terms of responsibility. You came this far by doing your best with the information and resources that you had at each moment. Now that you know a little bit more, it´s up to you to make better decisions and acquire better resources that take you (or at least get you closer) to the results you want.

the moment you accept total responsibility for everything in your life
is the moment you claim the power
to change anything in your life.

Hal Elrod

Now that you know it, are you willing to start using your power, without excuses and leaving guilt to one side? If you´d like to acquire resources that help you to achieve what you´re looking for, have a look at my services page.

Celtic camino

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Today, my daughter Eva and I participated in an activity organised by the Spanish Language and Culture classes (ALCE) in Ireland: we walked a section of the Camino de Santiago (St. James´s Way).

(Photo of the St. James´s Way milestone located in Bray, County Wicklow, Ireland.)

Camino de Santiago? In Ireland? Yes! It turns out that one of the many "Camino ways" scattered around Europe (and the world, for today we learned even Brazil has one) is here in Ireland; it´s called the Celtic Camino, and today we walked the portion that stretches between Bray and Dún Laoghaire, along the coast. So beautiful!

We were a good few Spanish families, taking our chances with the rain, which, thankfully, never showed up, and we had a really nice time: walking, chatting and sharing. Reliving the spirit of the Camino, including several stops to stamp our passports and some well-deserved rest with light refreshments at the end. I´ll most probably be sore tomorrow morning (I´m no longer used to these long walks), but today, my day has been filled with great memories, conversations, encounters, re-encounters, pride at our achievement, and spectacular views despite an overcast sky:

(Photo of the beach and the DART tracks from a viewpoint near Killiney.)

Thanks a million to Ester and Beatriz, teachers in ALCE Dublin and organisers of this event, to the Camino Society volunteers who accompanied us today, and to all the families who made the effort to come along. It´s been amazing.

By the way, if you´ve never done the Camino de Santiago (I mean, properly making it to Santiago de Compostela), I strongly recommend it; it´s a wonderful experience. The minimum distance is 100 km, which is not so difficult to achieve, and I can´t describe the immense satisfaction you get when you arrive at the impressive Santiago Cathedral on foot. I did it twice, many years ago; the first time along the French way, and the second time, along the Portuguese way, and I´m looking forward to doing it again (my dream is to do it with my girls, Irene, Alicia and Eva, if I ever get to convince them).

Lastly, I´d like to share here a very well-known Spanish poem by Antonio Machado, referring to the great metaphor of life that is the "camino": the path, the road.

Traveler, your footprints
are the only road, nothing else.
Traveler, there is no road;
you make your own path as you walk.
As you walk, you make your own road,
and when you look back
you see the path
you will never travel again.
Traveler, there is no road;
only a ship’s wake on the sea.

Adjusting the sails

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Today, reviewing my Google notes, I found this quote I wrote down some time ago with the intention of sharing it in the blog:

The pessimist complains about the wind;
the optimist expects it to change;
the realist adjusts the sails.

William George Ward

What do you think? It´s a good reminder of the different attitudes we can adopt when facing problems in life:

  • We can play the victim and complain about what´s happening to us (but without doing anything to change it)...
  • We can cave in, and naively hope that things will get better by themselves...
  • Or we can take action, and aim to make the best out of the situation.

This also reminds me of a book I read years ago (which I later donated during one of my decluttering sprees, something I regret), titled Who moved my cheese?, by Spencer Johnson.

Through telling us a story about some little mice and a maze, the author highlights the importance of not becoming too comfortable assuming "the cheese" (= whatever we desire in life) will always be there. Instead, he encourages us to stay alert so as to detect when change is coming, knowing that it´s natural for some fears to appear as we don´t know how the change will affect us, and to try and adapt to it quickly, because being open to change (= believing the change is going benefit us) as opposed to resisting it (= believing it´s going to damage us) can bring us very positive results and valuable learnings.

How easy is the theory, isn´t it? "Don´t be afraid and embrace change; it will turn out well for sure". The practice is an entirely different thing: fears don´t dissolve magically just by the mere fact that we know they´re there. But, using the appropriate tools and doing the necessary work, we can get to understand and manage our fears much better, so that we can take ownership of our own decisions.

Are you currently going through, or do you think you may soon be going through, a period of change? I am; we could say that at this moment, my cheese is moving. Or rather, the wind is changing, and I´m trying to find the best way to adjust my sails...

(Double page photo of one of the Junior Woodchucks books my sisters and I used to read as kids, featuring a fabulous pirate ship. Can you tell that I have zero experience in sailing? I may have to ask my friends Seán and Dee for a crash course on the basics.)

Untranslatable expressions: the elephant in the room

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Today I´d like to talk to you about elephants and metaphors, though this time they´re not the same as the elephant and metaphor in this other article (which, by the way, I highly recommend that you read, if you haven´t done so yet).

There´s an expression in English that´s very widely used, the elephant in the room (which literally translates into Spanish as "el elefante en la sala") to refer to a difficult and problematic topic, something that nobody wants to talk about, but that´s at the same time impossible to ignore.

One such topic is mental health, which is fortunately being discussed a little more openly nowadays, although there´s still a lot more that needs to be done in that area. For a few years now, here in Ireland, there´s a movement called exactly that, Elephant in the Room, which promotes conversations about mental health in the workplace, with the aim of normalising them. And the way they give visibility to this problem is literally by placing an elephant in the room: so far, they´ve delivered almost two hundred artistic baby elephant sculptures to all kinds of companies, institutions and education centres, in Ireland and abroad. Here are pictures of two of them:

Elephant sculptures seen some time ago in Blanchardstown Town Centre (left) and Maynooth University (right).

These elephants are a reminder that, behind a facade of apparent normality, anyone could be suffering. And if we don´t go beyond the customary "hi, how are you?" and superficial conversation before hurrying to do something else, we´re never going to find out who´s dying to have the opportunity to let something off their chest. It´s up to us to dedicate time and effort to connecting with others and truly listening to them, and be part of a support network where we can be there for each other.

Because, in this day and age, who wouldn´t benefit from a little more support and understanding? We are living a historical period in which we´re both more connected and more disconnected than ever. And we´re also most certainly more disoriented than ever, with everything moving at breakneck speed...

There´s one more elephant that comes to mind that we can talk about, one that I personally avoid as much as I can, although it´s becoming harder and harder to ignore, having become almost omnipresent. A technology so radical and disruptive that nobody has any idea where it can take us. Can you guess what it is?

Of course, I´m referring to the the astonishing and terrifying artificial intelligence: a entity (or rather, the sum of millions of entities) with the ability to both produce the most incredible advancements for Humanity and cause more havoc than a bull in a china shop (another very graphic metaphor starring an animal, and in Spanish, the equivalent is actually an elephant in a glassware shop).

I have been resisting the idea of talking about AI in this blog, and to be honest, I still don´t feel like writing about it. For the moment, it´s enough to say that I´m finding it a source of a lot of uncertainty, as I´m sure it is for many others as well, and when there´s uncertainty, there´s always discomfort and restlessness. Interestingly, what I noticed that helps me personally is talking about this topic with others; not specifically about AI as such, but about my reluctance and my worries, my uncertainty and fears. I think it´s because it opens the door for others to also open up, and get to speak more honestly and openly about what worries them.

Which brings me back to the initial idea with the elephants and mental health: sometimes we don´t realise when tension and worry start building up, and one day we suddenly find that we´re carrying a heavy burden and we don´t even know where it came from. An open and honest conversation with someone we trust can be really beneficial, as well as dedicating time to take care of ourselves, in whichever way we need, without guilt, so that we can make sure we´re OK and have physical, mental and emotional energy to keep going.

What about you, have you seen any of the elephants? Which one is your favourite? And what´s your "elephant in the room" at this particular moment?

Five years of BinaryWords

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Today, May 18th 2026, marks the fifth anniversary of my starting to write this blog..

Five years, a lustrum! I remember that, when I was little, I didn´t know how long a lustrum was, but I did know it was a measure of time, and in my mind it was something huge, like a century maybe, an eternity...

(It seems that the word "lustrum" is not very widely used in English; I suspect its equivalent in Spanish, "lustro", is not too widely used either, but I thought it would be nice to use it today. Both words come from the Latin lustrum)

This picture of Killiney beach is also almost five years old; it´s the image I initially used as a header for the blog:

Many things have happened since May 2021, around the world and within each one of us. I remember I was going through some soul-searching back then; I wasn´t sure what to do with my life, but I knew I wanted to do something different. So I decided to start walking, to get moving, trusting that the path would appear before me. And I did it by resuming a hobby I had found very fulfilling in the past but that I had abandoned for several years: writing. Or more specifically, blogging.

Even today, if I stop to think about it, I find it strange: every week I sit down to synthesise my thoughts and learnings in a few paragraphs, and then I send them out to the world, a bit blindly, without knowing who will receive them or whether they will resonate with them. Deep down, my hope is that whoever stumbles upon these lines finds one or two ideas that cheer them up, help them or inspire them in some way.

But I have to say that the person who benefits most, without a doubt, is me. On the one hand, for being able to use this creative outlet and contribute something I can be proud of, even if it´s small, and on the other hand, because I know these weekly reflections have opened the door to many other interesting (and challenging) things in my life.

For, as I had hoped, the path did appear before me; it keeps appearing with every step I take. Piece by piece, my project continues to take shape, although it´s still under construction, which is exactly the point: to continuously grow and to support others in their own growth. Both of those are tasks that last for life.

The blog now comprises over 250 articles; you can find them all in the archive. And if you´re starting to get tired of just reading, and you´re ready to step into action, have a look at the services page (recently updated) and let me know what change you want to make in your life.

Premeditatio malorum

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Today´s article begins with these words in Latin: premeditatio malorum, which we could translate as "pre-studying future evils".

And even though it sounds like a joke (to Spanish-speaking people, at least), like those fake Latin phrases we used to read in Asterix comic books, it turns out it´s a real thing, an expression from centuries ago. It´s a technique used by the ancient Stoic philosophers; I learned it in a Stoicism training course by Autognosis (thanks, Luis!)

(Flowers drawn by Eva, the artist in our family, on our kitchen whiteboard.)

This week, a few things happened around me that threw me off in a rather big way; things that made me consider situations I wouldn´t even have thought of until recently. And thinking about them, without noticing, I saw myself in the worst-case scenario. Which is exactly what this exercise is about: allowing ourselves a certain amount of time to recreate that situation we´re scared to see happening.

But not in a masochistic way, with the intention of suffering more, but, paradoxically, in order to suffer less. When we become worried about the future, we know only too well that just telling our mind not to worry doesn´t work at all; we´re going to worry anyway. So, what this technique proposes is not to run away from that thought, or to try and cover it, but to give it a chance to surface. This way, by visualising and imagining the worst-case scenario as if it were actually happening, we let ourselves integrate it, process it, and accept more peacefully the possibility (even if remote) of it happening.

Moreover, this technique can also help us to be better prepared for whatever may happen, or even to reduce the probability of it happening, if there are things in our power to try and avoid it. This is what I did as well, without noticing: I went what would I do in this situation? How would I manage? What resources would I have? And from there, I made a number of hypothetical decisions that provided me with a clearer picture of that imaginary future, which no longer looked that terrible.

At the end of the day, it´s all about "decatrastophizing" that future threat by bringing it down to earth, giving it a shape and coming up with an action plan that puts our mind at ease, as we position ourselves at the helm as opposed to staying adrift.

For best results, ideally, this exercise should be done in writing, reserving a reasonable amount of time (not too long) to get yourself in the situation, imagine all the details and observe the thoughts and emotions that start bubbling up. What options do you have?

You can write it all in three separate colunns:

  • Situation: your fear, the worst possible scenario.
  • Prevention: what is under your control to prevent this issue from happening?
  • Management: if it ends up happening, what is under your control to solve or mitigate the issue?

This way, by facing the threat and reflecting on it, anxiety paradoxically decreases instead of increasing. Because we go from being preoccupied about the problem to being occupied with building the solution. And on top of that, as it´s all written down, once the exercise is over, our mind can free itself up from this topic and focus again on other things.

As a final note, let´s all remember that we are stronger than we think. And as Marcus Aurelius, one of the great Stoic philosophers, once said:

Do not worry about the future.
You will face it with the same weapons
with which you face the present.

Quote of the day

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Do you like famous phrases and quotes? If you´ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that I do like them; I often include some in my articles, though I try not to overdo it.

Today, as I started my computer, Google showed me a familiar quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson :

What lies behind us
and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to
what lies within us.

Beautiful, isn´t it? I looked up more quotes from the same author, and found loads; here´s my selection.

(Photo taken this weekend, on our visit to Northern Ireland with Merche, Nacho and Miguel. Thanks, guys!)

People do not seem to realise
that their opinion of the world
is also a confession of character.

What you do speaks so loudly
that I cannot hear what you say.

Without ambition one starts nothing.
Without work one finishes nothing.
The prize will not be sent to you.
You have to win it.

Once you make a decision,
the universe conspires to make it happen.

And one that I found surprising:

Make your own Bible.
Select and collect all the words and sentences
that in all your readings have been to you
like the blast of a trumpet.

One foot in front of the other

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It´s the beginning of another week, and I imagine it like a blank sheet of paper to fill in day by day, if possible, in nice and neat handwriting.

Sometimes, we go through stages where there´s barely time for anything else but whatever is indispensable each day. And that´s OK, it´s what needs to be done.

But be careful, or you might get stuck there for much longer than you need to...

I found this quote in a book I keep at home; I haven´t been able to identify the author:

Don´t spend so long concentrating
on putting one foot in front of the other
that you forget to look where you are going.

(Photo taken approximately a year ago, walking down from the Alhambra towards Granada´s city centre.)

In other words: take your eyes off the path every now and then, look up, and check whether you´re really going in the direction that you want.

Setting a destination will help you to take firmer and better-aimed steps. And stopping to sharpen the saw every now and then will give you the clarity and tools that you need to keep making progress.

So, tell me, where are you going? And what steps are you taking this week to get closer to your destination?

Reset button

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Once again, the weekend has gone by really quickly,, and I´m left with the feeling that I haven´t done half of the things I would have liked. Which probably means I had planned roughly twice as many things as I can realistically fit into a weekend.

Does this happen to you as well? It´s quite normal; us humans are awful at estimating the time it takes us to complete a task or project (more on this topic here).

For me, a common consequence of not being realistic with my time is that I often end up resting and sleeping less, as there are things I don´t want to leave undone, even when the day is coming to an end. And so, without noticing, I get myself into a vicious cycle of lack of sleep that only brings about more problems...

This week I caught myself in that cycle again. And I´m the only one who can get me out of it.

Sometimes we feel that we have no other choice but to fill our days with tasks and keep going until we drop from exhaustion.. Or maybe we´re already exhausted, but we don´t listen to our body. For how much longer? Do we have to wait until life gives us a fright before we start taking care of ourselves?

The good news is that life (or, rather, our body) sends us signals, it shows us when the pace we´re going at is no longer sustainable. The key is learning to listen, so that, once those signals start to appear, we can notice them and take action.

But the thing is, in order to listen to ourselves, first we need to create a little bit of silence. And being continuously surrounded by noise and distractions, as it happens nowadays, doesn´t help with that at all. We need to make a conscious effort to "disconnect" from the outside for a little while, and get the chance to connect with our inner side to take stock of how we´re really feeling.

This reminds me of two things: first, the opening sentence in Desiderata: "Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence"... If this was already true approximately a century ago, there´s no doubt it´s truer now than ever.

And second, this quote I thought I had already shared, but apparently hadn´t:

Almost everything will work again
if you unplug it for a few minutes,
including you.

Anne Lamot

And if instead of a few minutes it´s a few hours, or days, or even weeks, that´s even better.

(Poster seen in an Avoca shop: "offline is the new luxury". This phrase would deserve its own full article; maybe one day I´ll write it.)

Now, what about you? Do you need to press the reset button?

(Almost) untranslatable words: workout

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As you already know, every once in a while, I like to write on this blog about a word or expression I find particularly accurate in English (or Spanish) and which I think loses strength and meaning when translated into Spanish (or English, depending on the case).

Today, we´re adding one more word to our list of untranslatables ; an English word that´s very widely used, and I´d say not only among English-speaking folks: workout. The dictionary translates it as "ejercicio" (exercise) or "entrenamiento" (training), but those two words, in my opinion, are a bit vague and generic, while workout conveys something a lot more tangible: each specific training session, each period of time dedicated to exercising. And that involves a certain amount of work, which is implicit in the word itself, as it derives from the verb -to work.

(Photo of a sign in my office building, encouraging people to take the stairs instead of the elevator: "Burn calories, not electricity. Take the stairs.")

Indeed, exercising takes effort, and not only in the sense of being physically tiring (which, once you show up and get started, is probably not that big of a deal). The hardest part is staying consistent, and keeping up the progress without waiting to feel like doing it, because, let´s be realistic, you´re almost never going to feel like doing it... (By the way, in case you didn´t know, that´s completely normal; elite athletes don´t feel like going out for a run every day either, and they do it anyway. That´s why it´s so important to create routines to make things easier for ourselves and help us achieve our goals).

The good news is that all that work done over the weeks, months, and years finally has its rewards: when we work out regularly, we keep ourselves in better shape, we feel better, and are able do more things. In other words, our quality of life improves.

So, what if we could apply the same reasoning to other types of exercise, not only physical?

This all came up because I heard a phrase the other day that I believe is worth sharing. I´m not sure whether it´s original from the person I heard it from, a coach called Alexias Anderson; it was part of a talk on Adaptive Intelligence (a key topic given the times we´re living in, accelerated and ever changing, so I´m I´ll be posting more about this for sure):

Every unfamiliar experience is a workout.

I really like the parallel this lady draws here: in the same way exercise is uncomfortable and tiring for your body, but beneficial in the long term, having to figure things out in an unfamiliar environment is uncomfortable and tiring for our brain, but also beneficial in the longt term. It allows the brain to learn to adapt to different situations, become more flexible, and develop a wider repertoire of strategies, responses, and actions depending on the scenario.

And, as it is the case with physical exercise, the key is to do it often, even if it´s in small doses. There´s no need to do anything too radical, the idea is to progressively get exposed to experiencies and activities where our auto-pilot is of no use, so we need to figure things out in order to keep going. It may be something as simple as using a different route to get back home (with no Google Maps!), starting a new hobby or learning a new skill that has very little to do with what we´re naturally good at.

A silly example I can think of is related to the songs we sing in our workplace choir: I´m usually in the soprano group, but lately we´ve been having very low attendance, so for some of the songs, I´ve had to move to the Alto line... It´s astounding how much extra energy it takes me to learn these new versions of the songs; I find it super hard.

But as we said before, the good news is that all this extra energy expense has its rewards, and in my opinion, the reward is twofold. On the one hand, by intentionally putting ourselves in situations that are somewhat uncomfortable, we progressively increase our tolerance to discomfort, and this can give us a lot of freedom, and also open up options in our daily life. And on the other hand, when life inevitably brings us big moments of change with the capacity to shake our world and knock us out of place, we will be a lot better prepared, with resources to better weather the storm and even take advantage of the circumstances.

What do you think of this idea? In which ways do you give your body, and your mind, a workout?